A Typical F**king Thursday.

Today i arrived to work no more than 37 minutes late, which is actually early for me. Upon arriving to my place of employment i logged into my email.  I scrolled through some bullshit about a faculty BBQ, and a funny little article about my old bosses funeral arrangements, and eventually came across an email that would piss me off something special.  I opened the email titled "Employee Of The Month" and i scrolled down to my department to find that my arch enemy Jace had received it.  I knew i had to play this off as cool because not only was Jace my worst enemy, but also one of my best friends. After Jace had arrived to work i congratulated him on receiving employee of the month, and preceded to ask him if he sucked off our boss for the nomination, which he has yet to deny.  A good hour and a half  later Jace opened his own email, and to his dismay had received an message from Human Resources, who had informed him on his new position that he had actually interviewed for a few weeks prior.  Jace is a med student who has big dreams of becoming a gynecologist, and up until the news of his new position at a medical center, he had been running his own practice out of a barn just west of town. Well this pissed me off even more, not only was he employee of the month, but this asshole wasn't even going to be around for the managers luncheon. I decided to email my boss and ask him if this was a f**king joke, i was almost positive i would get recognition this month due to the fact that i had worked a 12 hour shift the past two Saturdays, and had only been caught sleeping once. As the night progressed things seemed to cool down, other than the janitorial squad who decided to give me attitude when i asked for advice on crafting a piñata.  Later on i got a text from my friend Ace who told me to come to Damons house after i got off of work.  I journeyed North around midnight after leaving work and reached Damons to find Mandy, Lauren, Derek, Damon, Ace, Krull, Mel, Emma, her camel toe, a random black kid that i was sure i had seen on Thats So Raven, and our friend Eric who has been in Afghanistan for the last 2 years, and very well may have killed Osama Bin Laden, but is too modest to take credit.  I realized this night was most likely going to turn into another orgy similar to last weekends, and decided that without my video camera it wouldn't be worth the stay. Myself being the only sober one as usual offered to go get food for everyone at the nearest McDonalds, and naturally Emma, and her camel toe decided to come along for the ride.  Recently i have decided being fat isn't worth the 20 minute breather i have to take after taking an escalator , and displayed great feats of will power whilst in the drive through, i was also VERY proud of Emma for ordering a DIET coke to go along with her 20 piece chicken McNuggets and choice of dipping sauce. We returned to Damons to find everyone sitting in the darkness of the living room. Not only did no one know this random black dude, who i later nicknamed Toby, but in the 20 minutes Emma, and i were gone he had taken over the recliner, and remote, and was forcing everyone to watch Marijuana USA, which i can only assume is a documentary about him, and his family.  After everyone finished their food the sex thing started to happen again. Krull and Mel took their business to the backyard, and i knew Derek and Lauren were about to go at it because i had seen Lauren digging through her purse for a magnifying glass, and a condom. Ace had already disappeared to the depths of his bedroom, while Damon and Mandy went upstairs. Once again Emma decided to join them in a desperate attempt at a cock block, or as i like to call it twat swat.  The moaning began to get louder and louder, and i was almost positive Lauren had finally found Dereks penis. This is when Eric and I Decided to leave. As we were leaving the apartment Toby was still in his recliner, his eyes were lit up due to that fact that Nick-at-Night was having a Sanford and Son marathon, and i knew he wasn't going anywhere.  This is a Typical F**king Thursday for me and my pathetic friends.